A few months ago, I was shopping for dresses for my daughter’s High School graduation. At 53 years, 10 months, I am in relatively decent shape (although *God Damn* I expected these pesky 5 pounds would have gone away after almost SEVEN months of sobriety…WTF…????)
I digress from the subject of hemlines and sleeve lengths.
I think it is time to avoid public displays of my thighs and triceps. I don’t want to be one of those young at heart…middle-aged women in her fifties… who hasn’t figured out how to get a realistic glimpse in the mirror and so…continues to try and wear bare shoulders and above the knee mini skirts. (Thank God for the new trend of peek a boo sleeves that show the top of the arms but not the wing flaps of fifty year old triceps)
While packing today for the family vacation, I was hunting for some shorts. I found some jean cutoffs (I think I wore them successfully at age 49)…and some other “currently too tight/short” clothing items. I carefully folded them and placed them in the back of the drawer for “when I lose the five pounds”. Really? Seriously? I could be 60 before that magical moment.
And then it dawned on me… IT’s TIME to LET THEM GO
Which lead to the release of many things:
- I will not share cocktails with my daughter or sons as they turn 21 (or before)
- I will not be trying the flight of beers at the micro pub in their college town.
- I will not toast champagne at their weddings or other significant celebrations.
I also won’t be..
- Hungover, Remorseful, Doubtful, Sheepish, Shameful…
- On my knees thanking the Higher Beings…that I didn’t do anything to harm anyone else while I was in drunken stupor.
- Or…walking a line and touching my fingers to my nose with police lights shining.
- Or wondering if I forgot some moment of my life (and did I make an ass of myself?)
- The list could go on…and on…and on…
So as I pack out the bag of clothes to take to the Goodwill…I will also be taking out the other “trash” that has been cluttering my mind.
Still building up some courage to wear my sobriety loud and proud…but maybe that will come with some high heeled pumps and a pencil skirt that hits just above the knee.